Is it Unfair to ask Children to Do Chores?

by | Nov 25, 2016 | Education, Huffington Post, Parenting | 0 comments

 

nina parrish, the huffington post, blog

There is a video that is creating quite a buzz on Facebook recently. It is about the benefits to kids of doing household chores. The video contains pictures, information, and statistics about children in the United States doing chores. (See below for full video from attn: Video.)

The video cites research from a 2014 national study by Braun Research that found that 82 percent of 1,001 parents said they had chores as children but only 28 percent of them required their own children to do chores. The video also contains pictures of younger children doing chores, which apparently went viral because the idea of children doing chores was so controversial. People made comments like, “You don’t have kids to be your slave or to do the chores that you yourself don’t want to do.”

To this I say, “What?” “How can this be?” Doesn’t everyone agree that children should do chores?

A quick read through the comments on the video reveals that most people do agree that children should have chores. Interestingly, the same Braun study found that 75 percent of parents who participated in the study also agreed that regular chores make children “more responsible” and 63 percent responded that chores teach kids “important life lessons.”

So what gives? Why aren’t people actually having their kids do chores if they think that chores are so valuable?

It turns out that nowadays, children often have busy schedules full of sports practices and games, dance or music lessons, foreign language classes, academic enrichment, and afterschool activities. Many parents feel guilty asking kids to add another thing to their schedule that may take away from these valuable academic and extracurricular pursuits. They feel that these activities will add to a college application or help to bring their children success in the future whereas chores will not. Afterall, chores can’t go on your college application.

Close up Ten Year Old Boy Looking to the Right with Bored Facial Expression, Isolated on White Background.

But does not being able to list chores as something you have accomplished or participated in make them less valuable?

To get some insight, I asked child psychologist, Dr. Genevieve Nehrt. Dr. Nehrt explains, “Age appropriate chores are an important part in the development of young children.They allow our kids to learn responsibility for themselves as individuals. It is also a way to help kids know that they are part of a family in which everyone helps out. Chores can also be a great way for kids to feel a sense of accomplishment and be a contributing member of the family.”

Research also highlights the value of chores for kids. One of the longest longitudinal studies of humans ever conducted, the Harvard Grant Study, found that professional success comes from having done chores as a child. The earlier a kid starts doing age-appropriate chores, the better. Sure, activities like dance and sports are great for exploring interests and helping your child to receive a more well-rounded education, but parents should not be so quick to discount the value of chores and shared responsibility in favor of these other activities. Absolving kids of all personal responsibility for household tasks will affect their future.

How will not doing chores affect my child’s future?

As a teacher, I can usually tell the students whose parents expect them to help out around the house. They clean up after themselves, offer to help, have an awareness of others, and pick up quickly on classroom routines. A classroom is a group in which students must figure out how to play their part. Kids who have never had to pitch in feel confused about how to keep up. It is like there is an unwritten set of expectations that they are missing. This carries over into college and the workforce.

We have done such a good job preparing our kids for college that more kids are going to college than ever before, but what about the world after college? What about when they have to be an adult capable of having relationships with others, getting a job, and functioning on their own separate from their parents? Many of our kids will face a job market where 4 out of 5 graduates will not have a job lined up. This is where life skills like work ethic and responsibility will make a difference.

A great employee shows initiative. They look to see how they can be helpful, solve their own problems, are innovative in finding solutions, anticipate what the boss might need next, and pitch in without being asked. They know how to work as a team. For many kids, the first place that they learn the foundation of how to contribute to a team is at home through chores.

The Harvard Grant Study also found that happiness in life stems from love and successful relationships. A key to successful healthy relationships, as an adult, is an understanding that everyone has to pitch in and do their part of the tasks that make a household run. Dr. Nehrt explains that, “In the long run, chores teach kids how to take care of themselves after they leave home. A lot of young adults feel they are missing basic “adulting” skills like cooking, cleaning, or other fundamentals to maintain a home.” And there is a lot of work to be done! The typical American spends 14 hours per week on household chores and only 4 hours doing recreational or relaxing activities. Won’t this be a depressing reality-check for kids who haven’t participated in chores until adulthood!

So how should you approach giving your kids chores if they have not had chores previously?

Dr. Nehrt says, “Starting with younger kids, give them age appropriate tasks that they can complete easily that increase in difficulty as they increase in age (e.g. don’t have your five year old cutting the grass), and do chores with your child and along side them to demonstrate that in a family, everyone contributes.”

What do you think about children and teenagers helping around the house? Do you require your children to do chores? I would love to hear from you below.


-Nina Parrish, M.Ed.
Owner | Parrish Learning Zone, LLC
540-999-8759

                                       ~Nina

Nina Parrish, M. Ed.

Nina Parrish, M. Ed.

Co-Owner and Director of Education

Proud mom of two adorable girls. Teacher who has developed an education business that started at a kitchen table and has grown into a thriving small business... Click here to Learn more about Nina.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE

What do I do if my child doesn’t know a sound when we are reading together?

What do I do if my child doesn’t know a sound when we are reading together?

How Do We Prepare for the Upcoming School Year When We Don’t Know What It’s Going to Look Like? Part III

How Do We Prepare for the Upcoming School Year When We Don’t Know What It’s Going to Look Like? Part III

Featured in Various Media Outlets Around the Country.

Parent Approved

Trusted By Local Parents

 

Ms Brown was wonderful with tutoring my child in Algebra ll.
Pam Cantrell Burton
Pam Cantrell Burton
2020-10-14T16:15:51+0000
Parrish Learning Zone helped my daughter with on-line SAT and college essay preparation. She not only scored in the top 90 percentile on the SAT after working with Lauren Cannavo, she especially benefited from the tutoring she received for her admission essays. My daughter was accepted at Notre Dame, UVA, William and Mary, and received scholarships to George Washington University and the University of Alabama. She was initially deferred at the University of Chicago and waitlisted at University of Michigan and Emory University. She eventually chose not to remain on the waitlists and committed to UVA.Lauren also advised our daughter regarding her submission of a 20 page essay on community service for DECA, a high school business club. Our daughter, along with her partner, won second place in her category at the DECA state competitions in 2019 and 2020, and received second place at the DECA international competition in 2019.Lauren was not only a top-notch professional, she really cared about our daughter and was so pleased about her accomplishments. We are so very grateful to her and Parrish Learning Zone.
Marijayne Kruus
Marijayne Kruus
2020-05-11T21:51:37+0000
Mr. Chaves is an extremely gifted chemistry teacher. It's such a difficult subject--my son was drowning by the time we found PLZ. This was truly a last ditch effort on our part. Mr. Chaves was able to turn that ship around after only 4 lessons and my son passed the SOL! He was able to distill difficult concepts in a way that made them comprehensible and he was patient and kind and gave my son the confidence to succeed. His actual eacher expressed surprise and made a point of telling him he didn't know how he did it but he was impressed. It takes a gifted teacher to get results like that.I only wish we'd found PLZ and Mr. Chaves in the beginning of the school year.
Wendy Zelazny
Wendy Zelazny
2018-06-08T02:05:15+0000
Highly Recommend
Anne Kater Reeves
Anne Kater Reeves
2018-06-07T22:46:05+0000
I highly recommend Parrish Learning Zone. My daughter was able to achieve the SAT score she was aiming for with the help of her Math (Mr. James Slane) and English (Mrs. Lauren Cannavo) tutors. Not only did they help her with practice tests but they also boosted her confidence in taking the SAT. The owners (Nina and Jay) were always prompt in answering my emails. They are very accommodating and worked around my daughter’s schedule (thank you Shiela for all your help in finding available dates for my daughter to meet with her tutors). Thank you Parrish Learning Zone for helping my daughter achieve her goal!
Beth Yankovich
Beth Yankovich
2018-03-23T20:29:18+0000
I can't say enough good things about Parrish Learning Zone. My son has historically suffered from low reading comprehension. I felt he needed a little extra help so I contacted Parrish Learning Zone. The owners at Parrish matched my son with the perfect tutor for him, they developed a rapport almost immediately. He is now in 8th grade and doing well in all his classes. My son is very active in school sports and the staff at Parrish are always very accommodating. They always reschedule with no problems. My son even likes to go early to chat with Sheila.
Beth Kent
Beth Kent
2017-11-08T18:59:11+0000
Awesome! Very structured and student focused - they identified the areas of weakness and turned those into areas of strength in a very short amount of time. I loved the communication from the tutor and the company. I received a specific report of my child's tutoring session including improvements and areas that needed continued work. I received reminders of upcoming tutor sessions - which I needed!! I felt the individual attention and service was worth every penny AND found the prices to be much more reasonable that other tutors in the area. I would HIGHLY recommend Parrish Learning Zone to any parent that needs to find highly competent tutoring help for their child. Parrish is simply the best!
Michele Hiltbrunner Freemyers
Michele Hiltbrunner Freemyers
2017-03-14T15:53:50+0000
An excellent place to take your kids for any tutoring needs! PLZ is a very personalized and hands on service! Both of my teenage boys have been through here for various reasons and I know we will continue to make use of them!
Tammy Elms Mosco
Tammy Elms Mosco
2016-06-02T12:20:59+0000
I am extremely thankful to Parrish Learning Zone. I have a son that is a freshman in college majoring in mechanical engineering. I am so glad that we found out about the Parrish Learning Zone because they were very caring and really worked hard around my sons high school football schedule to ensure that he received all of the needed instruction in order to do well on the SAT testing. It was a great investment for his future. I believe this experience prepared my son for the transition to college life. He was able to attend a top engineering college and to play football there. My daughter is a senior in high school now and was admitted into two of the top ranked public schools in Virginia. She will be a freshman at one of these schools next year. She also was enrolled in the Parrish Learning Zone for preparation for the SAT. I am again thankful to the Parrish Learning Zone and feel that this was a great long term investment into their futures. I would strongly recommend the Parrish Learning Zone to anyone looking for an environment that offers a caring and knowledgeable approach to educating students. They are the best.
Angela Jackson
Angela Jackson
2014-05-15T00:39:39+0000
Andrew Powers
Andrew Powers
2014-02-09T12:32:29+0000

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

Share This

Share this post with your friends!